Friday, March 4, 2011

Bullies

I think I mentioned before that not all days are sunshine and lolly pops. Sometimes things happen and no matter how hard you try...you just can't protect them from everything. I want to. I'm sure that most parents do. It happened to me as a kid...it may have happened to you. This thing...this subject that I am talking about is BULLYING.

I arrived at the school to take my usual spot under the breezeway. The perfect location so Quirky can see me as soon as she comes out the door. I am here most every day...on others Dork takes my spot.  Consistency...routine...its the name of the game when it comes to Quirky.
A few minutes later the principal comes out...says that she needs to speak with me. HUH? Long story short...there was an incident. I won't go into details...they are not necessary. I'm sure she may have thought I was not listening...I was having trouble getting the words out...I was trying not to cry. Somebody had hurt my baby. They had scared her and made her cry.  I wanted to jump up and down stomp my feet and yell unacceptable! unacceptable! at the top of my lungs. In short I wanted to make a scene.
I have to say it was not like the bullies were not in trouble...she assured me of that. They were being handled appropriately in accordance with school policies I'm sure. None the less...I was upset.
Straight after school we went to Dork's office. I wanted to approach this as a team. I wanted us both to be there for her if she needed to talk...if she had questions. She did. We answered as best we could and I hope that we helped. Afterwards we went to our special place...the cafe at the local bookstore. Its our quiet spot. We can talk or we can just sit. We are not strangers here...we are recognized. We leave and she is calm.
I know that often kids with autism are a perfect target. Even the most Neanderthal child usually would not dream of trying to bully a child who is obviously "disabled" but a child with autism...they look so normal...but often act so strange. TARGET. As parents of these kids what do we do? I wish I had the perfect answer. I don't.  Don't worry I am not going to throw my hands up in despair and give up...I will think this through but right now at this moment all I want to do is cry.