Friday, June 10, 2011

Flashback Friday...Hugs

To realize just how far you have come sometimes you have to look back at the beginning...so I decided to start Flashback Fridays. I hope it keeps me positive. I hope it makes me realize just how great my life has always been even when Quirky's quirks weren't always so cute. I hope it makes others realize that things can and do get better. So without further ado...

Hugs. A simple way to show affection. People give them to friends, family and sometimes people they barely know. You may have even given or received one today. They are something that most people rarely think about...most people probably take them for granted. 
 Not me. Our families hugs are hard won. Today they come freely and sometimes with too much force on Quirky's part...but they are coming mine and Dork's way. You see Quirky wasn't always easy to hug...she didn't like to be touched. She still doesn't like to be touched. She resisted...she pushed us away...she arched her back...she cried. All because of a simple hug.
As a mom it was heart wrenching...confusing...and whole host of other emotions that I cannot even begin to describe. I admit it...I cried. How could I not? But Dork and I...well if we are anything we are persistent...some may call it stubborn. We did not stop trying to hug her. We did not stop giving her hugs. Often her arms were clenched to her side. Often her hands were in a tightly drawn first. Often her eyes avoided our face. Often her body was rigid. Often is how frequently we gave her hugs.
Little by little her resistance gave way...little by little she opened up...little by little she gave in to the feeling of being loved...little by little my heart healed. Now Quirky gives hugs freely if. Now she climbs in my lap and puts her arms around me and sometimes squeezes me so tight that I can't breath. I do not care...loss of breath is nothing...I would go to the ends of the earth for this...for Quirky's hugs. They are magical...I waited what seemed like a life time to receive them. I will spend the rest of my lifetime giving them...as often as she will let me.