I Have a Voice

Quietly I wait
my heart weighted by stones
For you to notice.
I am here.

Quietly I wait
my thoughts...my words drowning in
the flood of your voice.

Quietly I wait
For a chance to come my way
And with it the hope...
that just for a moment
I will not be the listener...
But the one listened to.

I have a voice...
but it will not be heard
you've dammed your flood and left.
My thoughts...my words
of so little value to you.

I had a voice...
waiting to be heard.

Great Golden Orb

I watched you...
Great Golden Orb
Bursting forth into the morning
Leaping out of the fire that is the sky.

I watched you...
Great Golden Orb
As the day grew strong
And the flames of the morning
Were drowned in the blue of the sky.

I watched you...
Great Golden Orb
In your twilight
Your strength failing
Your life light waning.

I watched you...
Great Golden Orb
Helpless...as you fell
Consumed whole
By the flames that gave you birth.

A Poem Resurfaces...

     I wrote this poem on a scrap of paper way back at the beginning of September, which seems to be my way...grabbing the closest scrap of paper and scratching out my thoughts while they pour out of my head unbidded. Be it receipts, grocery lists, or magazines no surface is safe. Over the years I know that I have lost many poems to my disorganized ways, but this time fate was on my side...my note resurfaced and I was able to relive the moment...

The Silence of Swinging

Sailing through the air
On the breath of the breeze
Her eyes wide
Take in the moment.
My heart still skips...
At each new height.
Her laughter rings at
Some unspoken thought.
My heart still breaks
For each silent word.

Hectic

                                                                                                               

        I wish I had the strength

to let things follow the path

that I cannot see

Walking at a slower pace

enjoying the moments

Individually

Instead I run forward

on the freeway

Lights blazing the way

God forbid

I should stumble

on Life.

Quirky

It was but a moment.
From then...
till now.
You grew so QUICKLY.
Amazing...
Something so wonderful
came from
me.
You are my sunshine
my day brighter
SIMPLY because
you are.

Her words.
Spilling forth like a torrent
We are drenched
Eddies of misunderstanding
Twisting and turning
Finally...
Settling into the rhythm of
Her language
Our language
Together we conquered...
This elusive thing...
Communication.

I am vain

I am vain
counting the grey hairs
as they come
until there are too many
I search my face-
its youth I hope to find
but only see the
road map of lines
and imperfections
my reflection mocks me
laughing at...
the youth I feel inside
Not me...not now
I would rather time
not leave those
souvenirs upon my face.
I am vain.

Vacant

         Her eyes are gone

vacant they stare

I know she is not far

maybe lost in a ray of light

or a hidden sound

I hesitate

the wrath for breaking

that special internal bond

so huge

that it consumes me whole.

Summer

I am waiting for summer
like a condemned man waits
for a reprieve
waiting for those moments
when we can relax
let go
stress dropping
like rain on new grass
I am waiting for the moment
when I can finally
breath.

Her Beautiful Voice

                

Silence today

I’m not sure

Why.

Patiently I wait

Who said Silence is

GOLDEN?

Someone who has

never heard

HER BEAUTIFUL VOICE.

Blessed with Autism

I think maybe she’ll be a

story weaver

wrapping the worlds

of unsuspected readers

into an imaginative web

Never once

would they suspect

that she was blessed

with Autism.

Pity

         I don’t want your pity

Caring eyes

Secreted behind those orbs

your thoughts race…

Thank God that’s not me.

Not my child.

I don’t want your pity.

Sometime I pity you…

In your narrow world

perfection taking

to few forms.

I don’t want your pity,

To me she is

PERFECTION.

Those Early Years

it was like a river
had dried up
those early years
the fluid of her voice
disappeared
leaving our world
barren and stunted
time would pass
before a trickle emerged
only to give way
to a torrent...
we quenched are souls
in the beauty of her
voice.

Ecstasy

I see her face

on the canvas of my eyes

dancing in circles

in and out of shadows

She moves like

a whirling dervish

face thrown to the sky

She is in ecstasy.

Imagination

I hear her voice talking
to sights unseen.
Responding to questions
unasked.
Smiling to faces
not there.
Living a life
not here.
She drowns in her
IMAGINATION
I cannot save her
from
HERSELF.

Notice

         I hide

in the silence

watching

waiting

knowing

it will happen

soon

the moment

I hope it does not come

when others

Notice

treating her

differently

overtly at first

slowly

becoming

Obvious.

Overwhelmed by Autism

Time warped days

Wrapped up in a blanket of silence

or transversely

violently soaked in a downpour…

of meaningless “conversation”

I wait out the storm alone

Wondering will the shadow

of the clouds overhead ever leave…

Only to be awakened by the

Sunshine from her beautiful face.