Wednesday, September 14, 2011

It Hurts

How can you stop the most boring meeting in the whole world and get a group of roughly 60 people to stop talking all at once? Its easy...just insert one very cranky autistic child and one extremely exasperated mom. Works like a charm...the only problem being that said Mom may want to crawl in a small hole and hide. What nonsense am I babbling about now?
Well...I should have known better...I have been down this road before. IT NEVER ENDS WELL. NEVER. Another homeschooling Mom invited us to visit an activity group that she takes her children to. I figured well it can't hurt to try...wrong...wrong...wrong!!! It can hurt. It hurt my neck when Quirky was hanging onto me like I was her life boat in a sea of adults and children. It hurt my ears when she screamed out and single handily stopped the entire meeting (you could have heard a hair drop...no not a pin...a hair). It hurt my ego...when I realized that my so high functioning little girl is still not above a major outburst. It hurt my legs because she sat on my lap refusing to move and grinding her butt bone into my leg. It hurt my arm where she pinched me because I closed my eyes out of exasperation and trying to hold back my own tears. It hurt my head trying to figure out what to do as she screamed she didn't want to leave but cried because we stayed. It hurt my heart as I watched the little girls who I hoped to be Quirky's friends watch and point as I tried to console a very distraught Quirky. It hurt my heart as I watched the other Mom's stare...knowing that my chance of having a friend was lost. It hurts... being a mother to an autistic child can be such an isolating thing.